A Part of My Soul Left the Day Your Heart Stopped Beating....

May 18, 2010

Ava Elizabeth/William Callen

A few nights after I found out I had lost the baby while in deep, constant thought I became really disturbed that my baby didn't have a name. I have no clue if the baby was a boy or a girl so what do I do??

I decided right then that the baby needed a name, an identity, something other than fetus or miscarriage or "the baby". I had recently had a converstion with a really close friend who informed me of the miscarriages she had that I never knew about. I found out she had given birth to a stillborn daughter. I asked her did she ever name her and her response was, "No."

It was then that I knew I had to name my deceased child. Otherwise I felt he/she would be "lost" forever. I had liked a few names and hadn't decided on anything yet seeing I was only 10 weeks along. However, sitting there that night the first 2 names that popped in my mind were names that I had never considered. I felt it was God's way of helping me choose the right names.

I chose Ava Elizabeth for a girl and William Callen for a boy. My Great Grandmother was Clara Elizabeth. My maternal Grandfather was William Walter and my paternal Grandfather was Lonnie Calvin. I think it was a combination for the two and it was given to me almost instantly. So, my little girl (if that's what the baby was) would have been Ava. If it had been a boy he would have been called Callen.

My gut instinct says girl, but again - I will not know until I meet him/her in Heaven. One other person I can't wait to meet for the first time when I get to Heaven is my sister/brother that was lost to a miscarriage in 1984. I know between Grandparents, Great Aunts, Great Uncles, Aunts, Uncles, sibling and family friends who are already in God's presence my baby is in wonderful hands and just waiting for me to arrive one day.


  1. It really helped me when I named my baby. I too did not know if it was a boy or girl so I chose the name Tristan Angel because it could go either way. As time has gone on I feel the baby was a boy.

    I love the names you have chosen what a way to honor Ava Elizabeth/William Callen's life.

    I look forward to going through the bible study with you and see how the Lord blesses your life.

  2. Those are beautiful, beautiful names. I look forward to meeting Ava or Callen in Heaven!